“Let’s face it, eating people is a tough sell these days.”

If you haven’t seen last week’s episode of True Blood, don’t read this.

But if you have, I hope you’ll join me on Team Russell. Russell Edgington’s stint as a replacement news anchor was truly marvelous. He’s got a lot of panache and I’ve been enjoying his antics all season, but this was just too much fun. And too terrifying. The way he waved that guy’s spine around for most of his strike-terror-in-the-hearts-of-humans speech encapsulates what I love about this show: its campy, gleeful, gory, mixture of hilarious and horrifying.

I’m done with Bill. He’s handsome and all, but I want to watch a show about a queer flamboyant revolutionary vampire looking to overthrow an unaccountable government/Authority, who sees human society as fundamentally self-destructive.

“The American Vampire League wishes to perpetuate the idea that we are just like you. I suppose in a few small ways we are. We’re narcissists. We care only about getting what we want no matter what the cost just like you. Global warming, perpetual war, toxic waste, child labor, torture, genocide, That’s a small price to pay for your SUVs and your flat screen TVs, your blood diamonds, your designer jeans…. But make no mistake. Mine is the true face of vampire! Why would we seek equal rights? You are not our equals. We will eat you… after we eat your children. Now time for the weather. Tiffany?”

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