The American Book Review just put out a very interesting and thought-provoking list of the 100 best first sentences from novels. Glad to see so many of my favorites there, like “Happy families are all alike…” and “You don’t know me, without you have read a book…” and “Stately plump Buck Mulligan” and “Mrs Dalloway said she would buy the flowers herself” and “Ships at sea have every man’s wish on board” and “The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel.”

So far so good. But right up at the top they’ve got that one they always trot out, from Pride and Prejudice, which I think is such a bad sentence on so many levels, to the point where I’ve never read that book because it turns me off.

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.” —Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice(1813)

I’ll call out just a few of its offenses.

1. Who starts a sentence with “It”? It’s annoying. Maybe in a blog post it’s okay, but in a book? It makes me say: what the f*ck is IT? From Writing.com: “It causes your readers to pause momentarily while they figure out what it is. It makes your sentences clumsy.”

2. “Universally acknowledged.” Really, Jane? Universally? So… peasant laborers in China and American oil magnates and trans sex workers have all somehow come to consensus on this issue? Jane Austen mistakes her rich European world for the universe, and it’s part of why I find her insufferable.

3. Tautology. “A single man… must be in want of a wife.” What if I said “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a young man in upstate New York must someday grow old” ? Meaningless. The thing that makes “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way” so brilliant is that it says something banal in a provocative, fresh way that compels me to read further. “Unhappy in its own way? what does that mean? hmmm…”

4. I hope that this statement is actually tongue in cheek, that it’s critiquing the universality of this assumption, that the rest of the novel is somehow a rebuttal of this sentence. And this tongue-in-cheek-ness is the last thing I want to critique here; it’s winking at me a little too hard, it’s a little too in love with its own drollness.

Delightful and utterly insignificant. What, I have more words? Damn. Predictable, unambitious, amusing but never quite funny. “Like a water-flavored Now and Later” - J.

It’s always comforting to find out that other people share one of your specific insanities.

For years, I’ve been a little bit ashamed of my intense, over-powering love for the music from old-school NES video games… a love that has driven me to create sheet music with transcription software, and spend lots of time practicing (even though my skills on the piano are slim to none), and then being too nervous about my nerdiness to ever play them in front of people… although there’s a video of me paying the Main Theme from Castlevania 2 here.

So you can imagine my excitement when I learned about MarioPiano.com, an incredible labor of love from some similarly-afflicted aficionado who:

“… Pulled out my professional engraving software and embarked on a meticulous and uncompromising transcription project that involved (i) transcribing every pitch and rhythm while listening to the original 8-bit NES recordings hundreds of times, voice by voice, note by note, in a loop, (ii) rigorously cross-checking my work with several of the best transcription attempts out there, (iii) arranging the visual layout and pagination for clear readability, and (iv) optimizing the piano fingering by learning the pieces myself and playing them every day for several months.”

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to print up a PDF and then pretend I’m the underwater level from Super Mario Bros…

The Colony is a new show on the Discovery Channel. I’ve watched several episodes, and I find it deeply disturbing.

I think it’s the same reason I hated The Road - a little too much of a slog through the swamp of human abjection and suffering. It’s too real. I’m already nervous enough about the impending economic-environmental apocalypse, and the crumbling of societal structures, and the resulting rise of vicious cannibal-warlords. I don’t need to see the specifics. I don’t need to see screaming women held down by five guys and tied up and dragged away. I don’t need to know this much about the physical manifestations of slowly starving to death.

It’s a smart show, and a good show, just like The Road was really well-written… but I don’t find it enjoyable. I’m too nervous waiting for the next repugnant shit.

Overrated because foreign. Buildup/story strong enough to make interminable financial debate (and gross violence against women) bearable. Then it all goes to shit.

(this week)

Yesterday, I was honored to attend a protest of New York State Governor David Paterson, who vetoed important legislation that would have capped rent for people living with AIDS in subsidized housing at 30% of their income. Organized by the fabulous NYCAHN/VOCAL, it was full of beautiful people and beautiful rage.

My photos are here.

I go to a lot of protests, although in truth not nearly as many as I’d like to go to, and this was the best I’ve been to in a long time. The logistics were tight, the chants were hot, and the folks weren’t afraid to put their selves on the line. Five people got arrested for blocking the entrance to the building. As a movement we’ve gotten away from this edgy, risk-taking kind of action, and it did my cold cold heart good to be a part of it.

From NYCAHN’s listserv announcement, summarizing their work on this campaign:

HIGHLIGHTS OF MEDIA COVERAGE

Associated Press / MSNBC (and over 40 other outlets): NY governor vetoes popular AIDS, HIV housing bill (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/39257961)

The New York City AIDS Housing Network said the veto will leaves 11,000 people with AIDS “teetering on the brink of homelessness.” They plan a Monday morning rally. [also quotes campaign leader Jim Lister]

Observer: Nobody (But Bloomberg) Happy About AIDS Rent Veto (http://www.observer.com/2010/real-estate/nobody-bloomberg-happy-about-aids-rent-veto)

“Even though I’m in a rental assistance program, I’m constantly forced to rob Peter to pay Paul. One month I pay the gas and telephone bill and the next month I pay the light bill, all the while hoping that nothing gets shut off,” James Dean, who pays 62 percent of his monthly disability income toward rent.

Wall Street Journal: Paterson Veto Blocks a Cap On Rent for Ill (http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704416904575502102440795416.html)

Sean Barry, director of NYC AIDS Housing Network, denounced Mr. Paterson for opting to “stand with Mayor Bloomberg and his failed policies around HIV/AIDS and homelessness in New York City. This is a missed opportunity to save New York money and, far worse, it means thousands more people living with HIV/AIDS and their families will be in the shelter system,” he said.

NY1: Paterson Vetoes Bill To Aid AIDS Patients With Rent, Utilities (http://www.ny1.com/content/news_beats/politics/125717/paterson-vetoes-bill-to-aid-aids-patients-with-rent–utilities/)

Wanda Hernandez, a resident of Belmont, Bronx [and NYCAHN/VOCAL Board member], is one of approximately 11,000 city residents who the governor’s veto directly affects. For the past 15 years, Hernandez has lived with HIV. She survives on Social Security checks, but after paying her rent, she has little remaining money to make ends meet. ”Every single month, I have no money left,” she said. “If I get to pay four bills, that’s a lot.”

Gay City News: Paterson Vetoes AIDS Rent Cap Bill (http://www.gaycitynews.com/articles/2010/09/20/gay_city_news/news/doc4c980a6fad215586802000.txt)

James Dean, 58, a NYCAHN board member and HASA client, said he pays 62 percent of his monthly disability toward rent. “Governor Paterson and Mayor Bloomberg have no idea about the difficult choices I make every day to make ends meet and still pay my rent,” he said. “One month I pay the gas and telephone bill and the next month I pay the light bill, all the while hoping that nothing gets shut off. I do things like skip laundry and buy groceries on credit just to hang on to my home.”

Gothamist: “Protesters Rally Over Paterson’s HIV/AIDS Rent Protection Veto” (http://gothamist.com/2010/09/20/protesters_rally_over_patersons_hiv.php)

Director Sean Barry said in a statement, “Governor Paterson knows this bill would have immediately begun saving our state money by keeping people in their homes and out of HASA’s expensive shelter system…Tragically, he instead caved to misguided pressure from Mayor Bloomberg, whose administration utterly lacks credibility on these issues.”

Campaign leaders were also interviewed on NBC New York Nightly News and WBAI radio.

Right now my money’s on freaky-tall Ann, and lesbian Kayla. And Liz, who looks like a biker-boy version of Frida Kahlo, is the dark horse in this race.

Who else are we rooting for?

Surprisingly unterrible. Lotta clever lines poorly delivered by Ms. Fox. Not groundbreaking or even fresh, but fun. Reminiscent of Ginger Snaps, in a good way.

Le Boy Bar opened up two weeks ago, and the place is already jumping. The boys must have been hungry for it! It’s so great to have a cool chill spot real close to home… makes it a lot easier to go out dancing when you don’t have to worry about a drunk nightmare of a two-hour subway ride, or a super-expensive cab ride, at the end of it.

Last night we went with a big bunch of people and had a blast. Here are some of the highs and lows, goods and bads, pros and cons, yins and yangs.

Highs:

1. Free to get in.
2. Diverse crowd! Boys, girls, drag queens, trannies, barely-legals and silver daddies…. Latino, Black, Caucasoid. That’s actually really shocking and unique and wonderful when it comes to Manhattan gay clubs.
3. The troll factor was WAAAAY low.  Pretty much everybody was just having a good time, dancing and being sociable, not standing off to the sidelines and trying to eye-fuck you whether you want to or not. (this is not an age comment - lots of twenty-five year olds can be creepy as fuck just by staring at you…)
4. The 24-hour Casa de Monfongo is just a couple blocks away, on Dyckman and Broadway, which is VERY useful when you need your salty-fatty-starchy food fix after drinking and dancing away all yr sense!
5. Between 12:30 and 3:30 they played three different remixes of “Just Dance.”

1. Uneven music. A lot of great songs, but the DJ kept switching up the beat too often to really get into a groove, and he played good songs on top of other good songs, so it was hard to get a feel for what was happening.
2. The space is pretty small. This is nice cuz it means the dance floor fills up fast, and since I stopped drinking I find it’s hard for me to dance unless EVERYBODY is dancing. Otherwise I think everyone has nothing better to do but watch and judge me. But this did feel a little crowded…. it also means you invariably find yourself standing uncomfortably close to:
3. The go-go boys. I don’t know what it is, but go-go boys tend to make me uncomfortable. I know they neither need nor want my pity, but it makes me shake my head sadly when I see some super-fine specimen of the male physique twisting and gyrating and offering himself up for the sake of some stranger’s sweaty crumpled singles. I don’t think there’s anything bad or immoral or undignified about this or any other kind of sex work, but to me it feels like a set-up…. a way to make everybody else in the club feel economic superiority in the face of something so physically fine that it invariably makes them feel inferior. Oh yeah, and: go-go boys are naked panhandlers.
4. Between 12:30 and 3:30 they played three different remixes of “Just Dance.”

Le Boy is at 104 Dyckman Street; take the 1 or A train to Dyckman Street. Full details are here:

http://www.leboynyc.com/

If you’re queer or just like to dance, it’s totally worth a trip…

… are all in the new issue of Slice!

Just got my contributor’s copy in the mail, and what a gorgeous and incredible thing it is! And how fantastic to turn to the contributor’s page and see my name slotted in alongside such glamorous company…

Mind you, all of this is before I’ve had a chance to actually READ any of it…

My new handheld orange squeezer is pretty amazing, but even if it wasn’t, it’d be worth buying for the sake of this hilarious spelling error.

Sucked is a strong word, but we’re talking about vampires here.

1. Russell. I love me some Russell, and I recognize that many people do not. What can I say - I’m a queer revolutionary, and game recognizes game. But regardless of how you felt about him, it’s just sloppy storytelling to spend the whole season building this guy up to be the baddest mother on the planet, and then for the finale… he spends the whole episode helpless, chained up, charred to a crisp. And then you bury him in cement. At least with Marianne, last season, we built up to a really epic “FUCK YEAH!” moment where she got hers.

2. Sookie. They gave Sookie some nastiness in this episode that was totally out of left field, not consistent with her character, and not interesting or appealing. Her sadistic laughter and glee when she put Talbot down the garbage disposal felt fake, and added nothing.

3. Bill. This sudden revelation - that he let the Rattrays beat her to the point of death before intervening, so she’d need his blood to survive - just got dumped in with a handful of other reasons for Sookie to hate him. So… Is Bill just an asshole? Not sure how they can reconcile this to the Bill we’ve gotten to know.

4. Sookie and Bill. What a surprise, she hates him again. How many times is that now?

5. Jason. Is it just me, or is there absolutely no reason we should care about “Hot Shot” and all the people out there? And Jason was giving me mad YOUNG GEORGE W. BUSH when he was trying to get all earnest and sincere and dressed up.

6. Sam. It sucks that you got screwed over by your woman, but the way they’ve tried to make you into a jerk this season feels clumsy and unsophisticated. Nobody thinks for a second you shot your brother… and if you DID? It’s yet another case of them ruining a character by adding stupid stuff that doesn’t fit.

7. Alcide. A tease.

8. Sookie’s visit to another planet. Or dimension. Or whatever. Meh.

9. Tara’s Mom. It’s actually really offensive that this woman never catches a break. If she’s not debased and miserable, she’s sad and miserable. They couldn’t show Tara going to visit her, and she’s… I dunno… gardening? Watching TV? Nope, she’s gotta be fucking a married man - her minister. Because that’s how this show rolls.

10. Jessica and Hoyt’s house… the half-assed set-up of some spooky shit… let’s pan down to show a creepy dirty old baby doll… So… this is… a haunted house? Really? We’re supposed to worry about that? THE MAN’S DATING A VAMPIRE!!

(thanks, Saffie)

(thanks, Juancy)

I tried very hard NOT to do a blog post with a link to this video. But I couldn’t help it. Because I’m gay.

And WTF is up with Jackie Evancho not winning? That Michael Grimm dude’s got NOTHING.

(this page was originally posted on the Picture the Homeless blog, which is temporarily down for maintenance)

Thanks to everyone who attended yesterday’s walking tour of vacant buildings and lots in NYC Council Speaker Christine Quinn’s district, to bring attention to and advance City legislative Intro 48, the vacant properties count bill… which ended-up being a twenty-person all-night sidewalk sleep-out in the pouring rain, by Quinn’s office!  [see below...]

Checkout a great set of photos by PTH

Checkout another great set of photos by Alan Greig

Also, this week we are launching “Vacant NYC” — a “crowdsourced” online mapping project — we need your participation! Anyone (including YOU!) can submit a vacant building or lot address — together, we’ll be able to build and share this online map, using a software pioneered in Kenya called Ushahidi (Swahili for testimony).  Our map project is to get the ball rolling toward the City’s count, by showing them how easily its done.

PARTICIPATE!

When you see a vacant lot or building anywhere in the five boroughs, let us know:

visit vacantnyc.crowdmap.com to submit a report, or text the address to 917.412.3064, or send it via Twitter using #housingnotwarehousing or @pthny

More about Ushahidi software:

*  short “What is Ushahidi?” video *  Not An Alternative video on using Ushahidi in NYC
*  New York Times profiles on Ushahidi’s use in Kenya & Haiti, and the Louisiana Gulf Coast

After our press conference and walking tour, over twenty members, staff, and allies slept out all night in Quinn’s district, on the corner of 31st St and 8th Ave — that is, around the corner from Speaker Quinn’s office, right outside a building that’s been vacant since 1979, across the street from Penn Station where many homeless people sleep every night.   This morning, PTH members are proceeding around the corner from the sleep-out site to deliver a letter and information packet to Quinn’s office when it opens in the morning.

Checkout a bunch of PTH’s best photos from August 24-25 on Facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=197597&id=747450027&l=2fa31f6b9b

It’s primary day in New York City, and this fiercely partisan town is full of Democrat contenders.

So the streets are full of crap and balled-up flyers and fallen posters and little cards urging me to vote for somebody. Like this little tableau.

It always makes me sad, seeing so much money and paper get wasted in primaries and electins. I’m all for a flourishing democracy, and if we got some folks who would actually act in the interests of low-income New Yorkers I’d say spend away, but we don’t.